5. Question:If a person is niftar and leaves no sons to say Kaddish for him, are the daughters allowed to say Kaddish for their father? Introduction: The Remo (Yoreh De’ah Siman 376 Se’if 4) writes that there are sources in Midrashim to say Kaddish [after the demise of] one’s father, and when a son davens or says Kaddish b’tzibbur he “redeems” his late parents from Gehinom. Discussion: One of the first Acharonim who discusses the permissibility of a daughter reciting Kaddish for her deceased parent is the Chavos Yo’ir (Volume 2, Siman 222, quoted in Pischei Teshuva Yoreh De’ah Siman 376 s.k. 3). The Chavos Yo’ir quotes an incident that occurred in Amsterdam where a person was niftar and did not leave any sons, and he instructed before his death that ten people should learn in his house, and after the learning his daughter should recite Kaddish. The Chavos Yo’ir writes that although there is no clear proof to refute such a practice, and even though there appears to be a spiritual benefit to the deceased parent, such a practice [of a daughter reciting Kaddish] could “weaken and undermine the minhogim of klal yisroel, and every person will do whatever he feels is correct [in his eyes], and this could result in treating the words of Chazal with disdain and disrespect”. The conclusion of the Chavos Yo’ir is that since Kaddish is being recited in the presence of a gathering, and there will be publicity, one should protest against such a practice, even in a private house. It is clear from the Chavos Yo’ir that there is nothing inherently wrong with a daughter reciting Kaddish, but since such a practice could have negative ramifications and will undermine the minhogim of klal yisroel one should refrain from, and even protest against, such a practice. The opinion of the Shvus Ya’akov (Volume 2, Siman 93) is that one does not need to protest against a lady who recites Kaddish in a private house in the presence of a minyan, but this should not occur in a Shul, under any circumstances. The Mateh Ephrayim (Dinei Kaddish Yosom Sha’ar 4, 8) writes about the situation as the Chavos Yo’ir, where a person was niftar and left daughters and no sons, and writes that even if the father instructed before his demise that his daughter should recite Kaddish for him, they should not do so, irrespective of whether the daughter in question is married or single, and even in the presence of a minyan outside of a Shul. In Elef l’Mateh (s.k. 9) the Mateh Ephrayim expounds on the reasons why a lady should be discouraged from reciting Kaddish. The Mateh Ephrayim concludes by saying that a daughter who wishes to be mezakeh her father should be meticulous regarding tefilla and should listen carefully to Kaddish and answer Amen with kavana. The Gesher Hachayim (Volume 1, Perek 30, 8.5) quotes an interesting minhag in some communities that allows young girls (under the age of 12) to recite Kaddish even in Shul. Conclusion: Although there are sources in a few Acharonim that allow a daughter to recite Kaddish for her late parents in a private house in the presence of a minyan (where there are no sons to do so) the general consensus of the Poskim is that such a practice should be discouraged, and a daughter who sincerely wants to do be mezakeh her late parents can find a plethora of permissible activities that will be an iluy neshomo for them. |
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