2) Question:
Is there an issue with an ovel buying a new tie? If so, if the item has already been worn once is it still considered “new”?
Introduction:
The Remo (Yoreh De’ah Siman 389 se’if 3) writes that the minhag is not to make new clothes for the duration of the twelve month period following the demise of a parent. Generally speaking, the issurim and minhogei aveilus that apply during the month (shloshim) following the demise of a close relative other than a parent parallel those applicable during the twelve month period following the demise of a parent, and this minhag should therefore presumably apply during the shloshim of all relatives.
It is clear from contemporary Poskim (Kitzur Shulchan Aruch Siman 211 se’if 10; see also Divrei Sofrim Aveilus Siman 389 s.k. 44 quoting the Chochmas Shlomo; Badei Hashulchan Siman 389 s.k. 59) that the restriction of the Remo applies to wearing new clothes specifically, whereas making new clothes during the twelve month period is in fact permitted [if one will only wear the clothes after the aveilus]. Similarly, the Divrei Sofrim (Kitzur Divrei Sofrim Aveilus perek 37 se’if 42) and Badei Hashulchan (ibid) rules that there is no prohibition for an ovel to purchase new items of clothing if they will only be worn after the culmination of aveilus.
Although we have established that new clothes should not be worn during the aveilus period (i.e. during the 12 months following the demise of a parent; and thirty days following the demise of other close relatives) there are two significant leniencies that should be mentioned:
• The Aruch Hashulchan (Siman 289 se’if 11) maintains that the minhag of an ovel refraining from [wearing] new clothes specifically applies to respectable clothes, for example a suit. Basic items of clothing (the example of the Aruch Hashulchan is trousers) may be worn. The Aruch Hashulchan also adds that weekday clothes, when there is a need to wear them [i.e. the current clothes that one has are worn out or unsightly] can also be worn, because weekday clothes by definition are not considered “respectable clothes”. [It is interesting to note that regarding basic items of clothing the Aruch Hashulchan makes no condition of necessity; whereas regarding respectable weekday clothes there needs to be a situation of necessity to permit wearing them.]
The Divrei Sofrim (Rav Nochum Yavrov, Kitzur Divrei Sofrim Aveilus perek 37 se’if 46) extrapolates from the Aruch Hashulchan that new underwear and shoes may also be purchased and worn. The Pnei Boruch (perek 18 se’if 11) similarly quotes lenient opinions (Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach) regarding wearing new items of underwear.
• The Be’er Hagolah (at the end of Yoreh De’ah Siman 389) quotes the Kol Bo who posits that if another individual wore the new clothes for two or three days, it is now permissible for the ovel to wear the clothes [since they are not considered new anymore].
[Although we find regarding the prohibition of wearing laundered clothes that if the clothes were worn for a short period of time (e.g. an hour) they are no longer labelled “laundered” and may therefore be worn during shloshim and/or during the nine days; clearly it is easier and faster to remove the status of “freshly laundered” than it is to remove the status of “new”.]
The Be’er Hagolah himself adds that this permissibility can only be relied upon if one needs the clothes [but not if one does not actually need the new item of clothing].
Discussion:
Let us return to the question at hand: Buying a new tie (to wear) is forbidden for an ovel, because it is certainly considered a respectable item of clothing.
Regarding wearing an item that has only ever been worn once (i.e. before the ovel became an ovel) the Divrei Sofrim in Kitzur Hilchos Aveilus (Perek 37, 43) quotes (in the footnote) Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach who ruled that if the item of clothing has already been worn once [i.e. before the individual became an ovel], it does not have the Halachic status of “new” and can be worn during aveilus. The Divrei Sofrim speaks out (ibid, footnote 47) that although regarding someone else wearing the item of clothing, it needs to be worn for 2 or 3 days specifically, and wearing the item once clearly does not suffice; there is a clear distinction between this and our situation. This is because once a person has worn an item of clothing himself once, his pleasure in wearing a new item of clothing has significantly diminished; however if one has yet to wear the new item, even if somebody else has worn it once, there is still pleasure when wearing it for the first time, unless it is “used” by somebody for several days.
Conclusion: An ovel may not wear new clothes during the aveilus period (i.e. during the 12 months following the demise of a parent; and thirty days following the demise of other close relatives). However, if the ovel has worn the new item of clothing even once before he became an ovel, he may now continue to wear the item because it is no longer considered “new” for him. |