“Question: If one’s husband is out of town, should one still tovel at the culmination of shivoh nekiyim?
Discussion:
• There is machlokes among the Rishonim (quoted in the Tur and Beis Yosef Yoreh De’ah Siman 197) as to whether tevilah bizmanoh is a mitzvah.
o Rabbeinu Chananel maintains that tevilah bizmanoh is a mitzvah and therefore he requires a lady to be tovel as soon as she is able after her niddus, and it is of no significance whether her husband is in town or not.
o According to Rabbeinu Tam, tevilah bizmanoh (nowadays) is not a mitzvah and therefore there is no requirement for a lady to be tovel if her husband is out of town.
• The Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh De’ah Siman 197 se’if 2) clearly rules that if one’s husband is in town it is incumbent upon her to tovel immediately, so as not to delay the mitzvah of pru u’rvu.
I.e. the Shulchan Aruch rules in line with the opinion of Rabbeinu Tam that tevilah bizmanoh (nowadays) is not a mitzvah and therefore there is no need for a lady to be tovel if her husband is out of town. [Although we find mention in Tanach and the Gemoro of ladies who were tovel despite their husbands’ absence, in those times korbonos and/or terumah were eaten, and there was therefore a need to be tovel in order to eat these b’tahara, and this required ladies to be tovel despite their husbands’ absence.]
• Additionally, besides there not being an obligation for a lady to be tovel when her husband is out of town, we find mention in various sources (see Responsa Shvus Yaakov volume 3, #77) that there is in fact a danger for a lady to be tovel when her husband is out of town. For this reason it should be discouraged for a lady to be tovel unless her husband is in town.
• Even if her husband is out of town and she will not be tovel until his return, there is no need to delay shivoh nekiyim and she should still perform hefsek tahara and shivoh nekiyim as soon as she is able to.
• In the following situations it is permitted for a lady to be tovel despite her husband’s absence:
o If her husband will return the following day, she may be tovel the night before (Yesod Hatahara perek 8).
o A lady who will not be able to be tovel on the night following her husband’s return (for any reason) may be tovel before his return.
o Even if she will be able to be tovel when her husband returns but she will be too rushed to perform the chafifah carefully and thoroughly then she may tovel prior to her husband’s return to enable her to perform the chafifah carefully and thoroughly (Yesod Hatahara perek 8).
• In a scenario where she is tovel prior to her husband’s return she should protect herself against the spiritual danger discussed above. Various seforim instruct that she should ensure that there is a child in the room with her when goes to sleep, and she should also place [with care] a knife underneath her pillow or mattress (Responsa Shvus Yaakov ibid). We also find mention (Kaf Hachayim Orach Chayim Siman 240 s.k. 13) that she should cover herself with an article of her husband’s clothing.
Conclusion: A lady is not required to be tovel if her husband is out of town, and even if it is more convenient for her it should be discouraged because of the associated spiritual danger. In a scenario where she will not be able to be tovel on the night of her husband’s return she may tovel earlier and she should ensure to go to sleep with another person in the room, and/or place in her bed a (carefully wrapped) knife, and/or cover herself with an article of her husband’s clothing.
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