Q) When invited out for a Shabbat meal or hosting guests, is it preferable for the head of each family to recite their own Kiddush or should one person recite Kiddush on behalf of everyone present?
A) Our question is based on a famous machlokes as to whether it is better to perform a mitzvah himself rather than through the means of a messenger or whether it would be preferable for one person to recite it on behalf of everyone because of the concept of “B’rov Am Hadras Melech – a multitude of people is the king’s glory”.
The Gemara Brachos (53a) teaches that if a group of people were studying in the beis medrash and a candle (for havdalah) was brought before them, Beis Shammai say each person recites a bracha himself whereas Beis Hillel one person recites the bracha on behalf of everyone because of the concept of “B’rov Am”. The Shulchan Aruch rules in accordance with Beis Hillel that one person would recite the bracha for everyone for the same reason given by the Gemara. The Mishnah Berurah comment that even though one might think that it would be better for each person to recite the bracha themselves in accordance with Beis Shammai’s opinion in order to avoid bitul Torah it is still preferable for one person to make the bracha on behalf of everyone because of the concept of b’rov am. The Kaf Ha’Chayim argues, quoting the Piskei Hilchos Ri’az who rules that indeed every person should make the bracha themselves because of bitul Torah.
The Shulchan Aruch discusses the halachos of reciting a bracha on behalf of someone else and rules that if the people listening to the bracha have intention to fulfil their obligation, they do so even without answering amen. On this the Mishnah Berurah explains the reason for this is because of the concept of “shomea k’oneh- listening is as answering”, and it is considered as if the person listening has also recited the bracha just by listening attentively. A few lines later the Mishnah Berurah writes that if a number of people wish to perform the same mitzvah at the same time, it is a mitzvah l’chatchila that one person recite the bracha on behalf of everyone because of the concept of “b’rov am”. Interestingly in Hilchos Tzitsis the Shulchan Aruch rules that if a few men wish to don their talleisim at the same time, each person recite the bracha themself, however should they wish, one can recite on behalf of everyone. The Mishna Berura that it sounds as if it is preferable for each person to recite the bracha themselves, but in fact it is the opposite and one person should recite the bracha for everyone, but this is not the minhag nowadays. The Mishna Berura suggests that the reason for this is because now everyone is fluent in the brachos and would not need someone else to recite the bracha on their behalf. The Kaf Ha’Chayim writes that if ten people wish to perform ten different mitzvos then each would recite the bracha on their own. However, if ten people wish to perform the same mitzvah then one should recite for everyone. This would be the ideal (mitzvah min ha’muvchar), however if one wishes to recite the bracha themselves they may do so. The Shulchan Aruch Harav rules in a similar fashion and adds an important point that one does not have an obligation to fulfil his obligation with someone else, since we cannot force someone to perform a mitzvah via a messenger when he could perform it himself. In contrast to this, the Aruch Ha’Shulchan writes to avoid reciting kiddush individually and it is not fitting to do so. The Kaf Ha’Chayim writes in the name of the Olas Shabbos that it is preferable to recite kiddush by oneself since when performing a mitzvah it is better to do it oneself, rather than through a messenger. He quotes the Tosefes Shabbos who argues on the Olas Shabbos since we see from the Gemara Brachos (above) that we even interrupt learning in order to fulfil “B’rov am”, however the custom seems to be that everyone does in fact recite their own kiddush.
Rav Moshe Shternbuch writes that many have the custom especially amongst the chassidim that each person recites kiddush on their own and the reason behind this is since nowadays people find it hard to concentrate whilst others recite kiddush and therefore would rather recite it themselves. However Rav Moshe Shternbuch suggests that it would be preferable that everyone recite kiddush simultaneously, rather than individually one after the other, since doing so will still fulfil some of “b’rov am”. However married men should recite individually for their respective families as the Mishna Berura rules that two voices cannot be heard at the same time.
The Divrei Yatziv cites the Chayei Adam who is unsure if it is preferable to perform a mitzvah oneself or through a messenger and explains that kiddush is different, since we apply the concept of “shome’a k’oneh” and therefore it is preferable to fulfil the mitzvah to the best of one’s capabilities, even if this means performing it through a messenger. However the minhag of Sanz was to listen to Kiddush from one person and afterwhich each individual would recite the bracha of “borei pri ha’gafen” before drinking.
Conclusion: It would be preferable for only one person to recite kiddush on behalf of everyone to fulfil “b’rov am hadras melech” and this was also the opinion of Harav Mordechai Eliyahu zt”l. However, if there is some reason either for lack of hearing or lack of kavanah (intention), or to comply with the family minhag why an individual would need to recite kiddush himself, he may do so.