The day before Yom Kippur is dedicated to repentance and atonement. Therefore a person shouldn’t waste the day. Instead, one should try to be alone and ponder over one’s deeds, and consider one’s future. Whoever works on the day before Yom Kippur will never see any blessing from that work.
SHACHARIT (MORNING SERVICES) ON THE DAY BEFORE YOM KIPPUR
S’lichot: If the congregation started before dawn (Amud Hashachar), it may say the Viddui even after dawn. However, the Tachanun of V’hu rachum at the end of the S’lichot is not said after dawn. If they started S’lichot after dawn, neither Tachanun nor Viddui should be said.
Shacharit: We say Mizmor L’todah in Shacharit as usual. Even though this Psalm is said instead of the Thank-offering sacrifice, and that sacrifice wasn’t offered up in the Holy Temple on the day before Yom Kippur, the laws of that sacrifice don’t apply to our saying it,, as is evident by the fact that we don’t include it with all of the verses of the sacrifices. The Ashkenazim customarily don’t say it on this day.
In Shacharit we don’t say Viddui nor Lamnatzei’ach ya’ancha since it is like a holiday.
Annulling vows: After Shacharit or after S’lichot it is the custom to annul the vows of men and women. Someone who wasn’t present during the annulling of vows can gather three males above the age of bar-mitzvah (even if they’re relatives) and say the request to annul vows and they can annul them, as written in the Machzor (holiday prayer book). This annulment is effective solely on vows that a person has forgotten, and not vows that one remembers.
Avinu Malkeinu: After the repetition of the Amidah we say Avinu Malkeinu as on other days. The Ashkenazim don’t say Avinu Malkeinu except when the day before Yom Kippur is a Friday.
EATING ON THE DAY BEFORE YOM KIPPUR
The reason: “‘And you shall afflict yourselves on the evening of the ninth day (of Tishrei).’ Do we fast on the ninth?! Don’t we fast on the tenth? This teaches us that every person who eats and drinks on the ninth is considered as though he fasted on the ninth and the tenth.” Out of Hashem’s love of Israel, He commanded them to fast only one day a year, for their own good, to atone for their sins. He also commanded them to eat and drink beforehand, in order to be able to fast, so that the fast won’t hurt them. Our sages liken this “to a king who had an only son and commanded him to fast one day, and commanded (his servants) to feed him and give him to drink beforehand, in order that he’ll be able to endure it.” Therefore we were commanded to eat more. There are other reasons for this, as well, both simple and Kabbalistic.
It is a mitzvah to eat and drink a lot on this day, and also in order to show that we accept and are comfortable with Yom Kippur, and that we are anticipating it happily. Since it is impossible to honor Yom Kippur by eating and drinking on that very day (as we do on other holidays), we honor the previous day.
It is good to eat fish at one’s first meal in the morning, and to abstain from eating fish at the final meal. One should drink a bit of wine during the day, but should be careful not to get drunk, and not to drink wine at the final meal. In the morning it is better to drink grape juice in order to not muddle one’s mind, nor should one eat other foods that could disturb one’s concentration, nor other foods that can cause constipation or other unpleasant side effects that could interfere with one’s prayers on Yom Kippur. One should eat light foods only, so that one shouldn’t be stuffed and prideful when praying.
When to eat: The mitzvah to eat more is during the day only. It is good to have more also during the night.
Women: Women are obligated to eat on the ninth, since they fast on the tenth.
Someone who won’t fast: Someone who won’t fast on the tenth is obligated to eat on the ninth, since this is the honor of Yom Kippur.
Pills to ease the fast: It is permitted to take pills or other remedies before Yom Kippur in order to ease the fast. However, a person shouldn’t have an infusion put in him on the day before Yom Kippur for the purpose of easing the fast on Yom Kippur. Even someone who needs to eat on Yom Kippur shouldn’t have an infusion put in him — it is preferable in that case to eat according to shiurim. However, patients in a hospital who have an infusion should do whatever is medically necessary.
Learning or eating: A person should learn less on the day before Yom Kippur in order to eat and drink.
IMMERSING IN A MIKVEH
It is the custom of all Jewish men to immerse on the day before Yom Kippur; perhaps he discharged a drop of semen and didn’t notice it. In the holy Zohar it’s written that the immersion on the day before Yom Kippur cures a man of his sins. When one sanctifies one’s self in this (lowly) world, one becomes sanctified in the upper worlds, as well. The best time for this is after the middle of the day, or at least after five halachic hours of the day. One should not bless on this immersion, since it is merely a custom and not an obligation.
PRAYER NEXT TO THE GRAVES OF THE TZADDIKIM
It is the custom to go to the cemetery on the day before Yom Kippur in order to visit the graves of the Tzaddikim. We give charity there and say many supplications, in order to arouse the holy Tzaddikim who are buried there to advocate on our behalf on the day of judgment.
MINCHAH
We pray Minchah and add the Viddui (confession) and Al cheit at the end of the Amidah. We don’t repeat the Viddui during the repetition of the Amidah, nor do we say it after the repetition of the Amidah.
The Sepharadim customarily say Avinu Malkeinu at this Minchah.
FINAL MEAL
After Minchah, about an hour or more before sunset, we eat the final meal. (Some have the custom to say Hamotzi on two loaves, and to dip the bread in salt and honey, but this is not obligatory.) One shouldn’t eat fat meat at this meal nor food that is difficult to digest. One shouldn’t drink wine or alcoholic beverages that are likely to impair one’s prayers on Yom Kippur. In a similar vein, we may borrow the expression, “It is better a little bit with concentration than a lot without concentration.” Every person knows what foods bother him — he should avoid them.
After the meal one blesses one’s children and family members that they should be inscribed in the book of Life etc. (There are different versions of this blessing for sons and daughters, see Machzor Ohalei Ya’akov 14.) It is appropriate at this time to request forgiveness from one’s wife, as well as she from him, for any offenses during the past year, and to bless each other with a good new year.
One must finish the meal before sunset, in order to observe Yom Kippur during a bit of the ninth of Tishrei. This is called Tosefet (Addition of) Yom Kippur, and it is a Torah obligation. It isn’t sufficient to add just a few minutes, it must be a noticeable addition. The custom is to add forty minutes in Jerusalem, half an hour in cities in northern Israel, and twenty-five minutes in the Tel-Aviv area. If one is in a city with no clear custom, it’s desirable to add forty minutes, in accordance with the custom of Jerusalem. In any case, one should add no less than twenty minutes before sunset. Also after Yom Kippur, people should conclude the fast a bit after nightfall (Tzeit Hakochavim, when three small stars are visible).
If one wishes to eat after the final meal, one must say before Birkat Hamazon “I don’t accept the fast,” or at least think so. It is good to not say that this is “the final meal,” in order to be able to eat or drink after Birkat Hamazon. It is good not to think that this is the “final meal” until one actually wants to stop eating.
Some have the custom to say Viddui after the final meal, before Arvit (evening services). The Sepharadim fulfill this by saying the Piyyut (liturgical poem) L’cha E-li T’shukati, which is ascribed to Rabbi Y’hudah Haleivi, and consists entirely of confession and supplication. The Ashkenazim say T’fillah Zakkah.
PREPARING FOOD FOR CHILDREN
One may prepare food and place it on a covered flame or hot plate before Yom Kippur, to be eaten after Yom Kippur. It is permissible to place hot food on a covered flame or hot plate before Yom Kippur, as we do before Shabbat, in order to feed small children on Yom Kippur. According to the R״ma one should be stringent about this. However if there are small children in the home, one shouldn’t be stringent about this.
One shouldn’t prepare food on Yom Kippur for after the fast. Only food for children who eat on Yom Kippur may be prepared on Yom Kippur itself, and then preparations that are permitted on Shabbat only. To light one flame from another flame and similar things that are permitted on the holidays, is forbidden on Yom Kippur.
CLOTHING FOR YOM KIPPUR
We wear fine clothes and light candles in honor of Yom Kippur. We honor Yom Kippur in this way because it is written, “to sanctify it to Hashem with honor,” and since it’s impossible to honor it with food and drink we honor it with fine clothing, and a clean house and synagogue.
We try to wear white clothes on Yom Kippur because of Kabbalistic reasons. Women also wear clean white clothing in honor of the day, but shouldn’t wear jewelry, out of fear of the judgment.
It is the custom to spread a nice tablecloth on the table after the final meal, and we place Torah books where we usually place the challot on Yom Tov, and likewise cover them with a covering.
LIGHTING CANDLES
We light candles at home as we do before Shabbat. If the light doesn’t reach the parent’s bedroom, some say that one should light a candle there, in order to remind them of the prohibition against marital relations. We bless on the candles, Baruch etc. l’hadlik neir shel Yom Hakippurim. If Yom Kippur falls on Shabbat we bless l’hadlik neir shel Shabbat v’shel Yom Hakippurim.
It is a Torah obligation to observe Yom Kippur before sunset. This is called Tosefet (addition of) Yom Kippur. Several minutes is insufficient for this addition, one must observe a “recognizable addition.” The custom in Jerusalem is to add forty minutes before sunset, and in the rest of Israel from twenty-five to thirty minutes before sunset.
Since we usually return home late from the synagogue on the night of Yom Kippur, one should light long candles or add more oil in the lamp so that it will still be lit when one returns home from the synagogue so one will be able to benefit from their light.
Even women who generally don’t bless Shehecheyanu when lighting holiday candles should bless Shehecheyanu when lighting candles for Yom Kippur. From lighting and on she is prohibited to do all that it is prohibited on Yom Kippur.
Before the wife lights candles she must put on shoes without leather, and check whether all preparations for Yom Kippur have been made, because after lighting she may not eat nor do m’lachah (work) that it is prohibited on Yom Kippur. Therefore, on Yom Kippur women customarily say the blessing after the lighting, like Shabbat candles.
One should light a Yahrzeit candle (candle that burns over 24 hours) before Yom Kippur, so that after Yom Kippur one will be able to light the Havdalah candle from it.
Some have the custom to light candles in the synagogue for the benefit of the souls of (l’ilui nishmat) their parents who passed away. It is preferable to light a candle for each soul. According to the Mishnah B’rurah it is sufficient to light one candle for all of the souls.
If candles went out, it is forbidden to tell or hint to a gentile to light them. However, if the electricity in the synagogue went out and it’s impossible to pray and an argument may arise, it’s permissible to hint to a gentile to turn it on.
BLESSING THE CHILDREN
Every person should kiss his father’s and mother’s hands on the day before Yom Kippur before going to the synagogue, and request forgiveness from them for all sins that he committed against them during the past year, e.g., improper speech etc. There’s almost nobody who doesn’t need to improve his behavior in the realm of honoring one’s parents, which is a mitzvah that demands a great daily effort. If the child is crazy and didn’t request forgiveness from his parents, they (both father and mother) should say out loud, “I completely forgive and pardon my child (name) for all that he sinned against me.”
It is good that the father places his hands on his children’s head and blesses them. Some are stringent and place only one hand on the child’s head when blessing him.
The custom is that the father and mother bless the sons and daughters before entering the synagogue. At this time the day is already holy, and the gates of mercy are open. They pray in this blessing that the sons and daughters will be sealed for a good life, and that their hearts will be ready to fear Hashem. They supplicate, crying with tears, that their prayers will be accepted, as written in the Machzor.
Every husband should request forgiveness from his wife and every wife should ask forgiveness from her husband for all anger between them during the year. Each of them should forgive the other with a whole heart, because anger on Yom Kippur arouses prosecution against oneself, and is likely to obstruct one’s prayers. When forgiving one’s wife, the husband should include forgiveness for spending money against his will. The husband and wife should bless each other with a good new year and all the best.
ACCEPTING YOM KIPPUR
After the final meal, while it is still day and before going to the synagogue, one should remove one’s (leather) shoes.
One should go to the synagogue with joy, fear, and humility. If the man arrives at the synagogue during the day, he should put on his tallit with the blessing on it. If he arrives at the synagogue after sunset, he should put it on without saying the blessing.
When in the synagogue before Arvit on the night of Yom Kippur, every person should say privately, before Arvit, that he forgives every person who offended him.
When Yom Kippur falls on Shabbat one should say Kabbalat Shabbat before sunset. Therefore, if one sees that one is lacking time, it is better to say Kabbalat Shabbat at the proper time, and afterwards say the Piyyut (liturgical poem) L’cha E-li etc. or other prayers. Places with the custom of selling the honors of the mitzvot before Arvit should be careful about this, because it is likely that they’ll overextend the time.
Prohibitions of Yom Kippur
GENERAL
Everything that is prohibited to do on Shabbat is prohibited on Yom Kippur. Even though there is no prohibition against carrying things on the holidays and the rules of eiruv don’t apply (generally speaking), Yom Kippur is different; it is like Shabbat, and one cannot carry to or in a place without an eiruv. It differs from Shabbat in one way only: one who deliberately breaks Shabbat should receive capital punishment (stoning), whereas one who deliberately breaks Yom Kippur, his soul is “cut off” (karet) from Israel.
The prohibitions of Yom Kippur are identically strict in the night and the day. The prohibitions are: work (m’lachah), eating and drinking, washing, anointing, marital relations and wearing shoes. All of them are forbidden from the Torah.
EATING
Quantity: It is a Torah prohibition to eat any food at all on Yom Kippur. Someone who eats on Yom Kippur the size of a large date (Kotevet hagasah) deserves karet — his soul is cut off from Israel. Our sages reckoned that eating food that size settles the mind of a hungry person, no matter whether he’s a small child or a large adult.
How large is a “large date?” It’s less than an egg without its shell (35 grams). Since there are more stringent opinions, we instruct sick people who must eat on Yom Kippur that they should eat less than a k’zayit (27 grams) in order to not require n’tilat yadayim (washing hands before bread) or Birkat Hamazon (grace after meals). If this isn’t enough for the sick person, we can be lenient and allow him to eat up to 30 grams. If this isn’t enough for him, either, then he should eat 35 grams of food.
Someone who eats various foods that add up to the size of a large date breaks this prohibition, assuming that he ate them in a “normal fashion” i.e., without long breaks in between. What is considered a reasonable time period? K’dei achilat p’ras (the time required to eat half a loaf of bread without interruption).
K’dei achilat p’ras (time required to eat a half a loaf of bread): The later halachic authorities (Acharonim) differ as to the length of this time span. According to Rashi it is the time required to eat bread the size of four eggs, made out of wheat flour. According to Maimonides it’s the time required to eat bread the size of three eggs. We are stringent like both opinions. This time span is no longer than nine minutes and no less than four minutes. Therefore, a sick person who must eat on Yom Kippur should eat according to shiurim (measurements), meaning that we give him less than an olive’s size of food, every ten minutes (in order to be a bit longer than the time of k’dei achilat p’ras). This is as long as eating shiurim doesn’t endanger him (i.e., it’s sufficient and poses no medical problems).
Someone who thinks that he or one of the members of the family may or definitely will need to eat according to shiurim, should weigh and prepare food and drink according to the measurements on the day before Yom Kippur. If they forgot to measure before Yom Kippur, they may measure on Yom Kippur on a non-electric scale, since it is for the purpose of a mitzvah. If there is no such scale available, and to eat quantities that are definitely smaller than the shiurim is insufficient, then they should weigh them with an electric scale in an unusual way (with a shinui).
Combining foods: Someone who ate a little bit of various foods that add up to the size of a large date transgresses the prohibition of eating. Even the meat sauce that becomes absorbed in a piece of bread is added to this reckoning, since by being absorbed it is considered “food.” However, drinks are not considered in this reckoning.
Medicine: Someone who must swallow a pill or other medicine that isn’t tasty, may swallow it without water, even though his illness is not dangerous. This is because medicine is not considered food that one may not eat.
Tasting: On Yom Kippur it is prohibited to taste food and then spit it out. Therefore it is forbidden to chew gum, suck on candies, use mouthwash, etc.
Forgot and blessed: One who forgot that it’s Yom Kippur and blessed on food and then remembered before eating it, should say Baruch sheim k’vod malchuto l’olam va’ed (Blessed be the name of His honored kingship forever more) and not eat the food, even though one’s blessing was in vain.
Feeding children: It is permissible to give children food on Yom Kippur, and there’s no worry that adults will eat it. If the child is able to take the food by himself, then it’s good for the adults to be stringent and not touch the food. The Mishnah B’rurah is of the opinion that one needn’t be stringent about this, even if the child could feed himself.
DRINKING
Quantity of drink: One who drinks a “cheekfull” on Yom Kippur breaks the prohibition. This amount is measured on every person according to his own size. The “cheekfull” is the quantity of water that one can hold in one side of his mouth. This is usually more than 30 milliliters.
One who drinks less than a “cheekfull,” waited nine minutes and then again drank less than a “cheekfull” is exempt from the punishment of the Torah prohibition. Of course, this, too, is prohibited on Yom Kippur. However, in the case of a dangerously sick person who needs to drink on Yom Kippur, we let him drink according to shiurim (measurements). This means that we give him 30 grams of drink (which is less than a “cheekfull”) every nine minutes (longer than K’dei achilat p’ras). In difficult circumstances he may drink forty grams. All of this is assuming that drinking according to shiurim doesn’t endanger him (i.e., it’s sufficient and poses no medical problems).
Combining food and drink: Drinking and eating do not combine. Therefore a sick person who eats and drinks according to shiurim may drink thirty grams of drink and eat thirty grams of food simultaneously, wait nine minutes, and then eat and drink again, if he so needs.
Drinking for sick people: Someone who is sick and needs to drink according to shiurim may drink juice, milk, or any other nutritional substance, in order that he’ll be able to drink fewer times.
If one must swallow a pill or other essential medicine because of one’s dangerous condition, it is preferable to take it without water. If this impossible, one may take it with less than thirty grams of water. Some wrote that one should put some salt in the water in order that one won’t have any pleasure from it, but that isn’t our custom.
Someone who has an ailment in his mouth and must rinse his mouth with a bitter medicine mixed with water may do so, as long as he is careful not to swallow this water.
Circumcision: At a circumcision on Yom Kippur the mohel (circumciser) shouldn’t do the m’tzitzah with wine or other substances. Instead he should just do m’tzitzah with his mouth without any drink. In any case, if his mouth or lips are afterwards dirty with blood, he may wash them.
Brushing teeth: It’s prohibited to wash one’s mouth or brush one’s teeth on Yom Kippur, even if one is sure that one won’t swallow water.
WASHING
Washing hands: It is forbidden to wash even one’s little finger, and even to place a finger in water. It makes no difference whether it’s cold or hot water. One who needs to wash one’s hands in the morning, after going to the washroom or touching filthy parts of one’s body or the like should wash one’s fingers only up to the knuckles that join them to the hand. When doing so, one shouldn’t have in mind to have pleasure from the washing.
When one arises in the morning one should wash one’s hands as usual, however, one shouldn’t pour the water on one’s entire hand, rather solely the fingers, up to the knuckles that join them to the hand. Afterwards one blesses Al n’tilat yadayim as on every day. When one’s hands are still moist one may rub one’s eyes.
Washing for food: A sick person who needs to eat more than 27 grams of bread should wash his entire hand three times just like the rest of the year. Some authorities say that he should wash his fingers only, up to the knuckles that join them to the hand. (If he eats less than 60 grams he shouldn’t bless Al n’tilat yadayim. If he eats more, he should bless Al n’tilat yadayim.) According to the Shulchan Aruch if he eats less than an olive’s size of bread he doesn’t wash his hands, and according to stringent authorities he should wash his hands even for less than an olive’s size.
Someone who is sick (even if he isn’t dangerously sick) may wash what he needs for medical purposes in a normal fashion.
Washroom: After using or even entering a washroom, one should wash one’s fingers three times, up to the knuckles that join them to the hand.
Touched one’s shoe: One who touched one’s shoes, including shoes that are suitable for Yom Kippur, should wash one’s fingers once, up to the knuckles that join them to the hand.
Prayers: Someone who regularly washes his hands before praying throughout the year, should wash his fingers on Yom Kippur up to the knuckles that join them to the hand.
Birkat Cohanim: A Cohen who is going to bless Birkat Cohanim washes his fingers up to the knuckles that join them to the hand. In communities where the Levites also wash their hands, they may do so in the same manner. Some permit washing the entire hand up to the wrist as usual.
Bride: A bride within the first thirty days of her marriage may wash her face, in order to not be unattractive to her husband. Some authorities say that if the husband or bride will be in the synagogue the entire day and thus won’t see each other, she shouldn’t wash her face.
Woman: On all nights of the year, even on Shabbat evening, a woman is permitted to immerse in a mikveh (ritualarium). The exceptions to this are the nights of the ninth of Av and of Yom Kippur. If she should have gone to the mikveh on those nights, then she must defer the immersion to the succeeding night.
A woman who needs to start counting the seven “clean” days may wash on Yom Kippur only the part of the body that she checks. She should dry herself with a thick towel, to avoid squeezing water from the towel by mistake.
Facial wipes: One may wipe oneself with moist facial wipes as long as they do not leave one’s face wet nor do they leave any moisture on one’s face or hands.
It is permissible to cool oneself off with a cloth that was soaked in water and then squeezed before Yom Kippur. Similarly, one may cool one’s self with any moist item that doesn’t moisten one’s face nor hands. Similarly, one may clean one’s face with this towel. Some forbid this, out of concern that one may not squeeze it out sufficiently before Yom Kippur, and will squeeze it on Yom Kippur.
Rainy day: One may walk to the synagogue on a rainy Yom Kippur and return home even though one’s hands become wet, and similarly one may go and return to any mitzvah even though one will get wet (through rain or any other way), since this isn’t washing for pleasure that is forbidden.
Filth: Someone whose body or hands became dirty may wash off the filth. If the filth doesn’t come off with mere water, one may use liquid soap. Someone with a nosebleed may wash off the blood only, and should take care not to squeeze any cloth.
ANNOINTING
It is forbidden to anoint one’s skin with oil or any lotion. However, someone with scales or wounds who anoints them daily may anoint them with oil, even though they pose no danger, but may not apply lotions or ointments to them.
WEARING SHOES
It is forbidden to wear shoes or sandals, both at home as well as in the synagogue. However, it is permissible to walk wearing socks, cloth shoes, or thin plastic shoes etc. “since the hardness of the ground reaches his feet and he feels as though he’s barefoot.” It is customary to permit thick plastic shoes as well. However, it is better not to wear such shoes, nor to wear shoes that resemble leather shoes, in order that nobody take an (incorrect) example from the wearer to wear leather shoes.
It is the custom to permit wooden sandals. In any case, if one touches a shoe, no matter what its material, one should wash one’s fingers until the knuckles that join them to the hands.
A shoe with leather adornments is permissible on Yom Kippur. However, if the leather holds the shoe together, either from above or from below, it is forbidden.
It is permissible for a mother within thirty days of birth to wear shoes. Similarly, somebody ill (even if his illness poses no danger) who finds it difficult to wear cloth shoes or someone who has a wound on his foot and needs to wear leather shoes, may wear leather shoes on Yom Kippur. However, it is better that someone with a wound find an appropriate cloth or plastic shoe that protects the wound, in order to not rely upon this leniency.
Some permit standing on a leather mat while barefoot since that’s not wearing leather shoes. Someone who is stringent about this will be blessed. However, it is permissible to stand on a regular rug, even if it is quite hard.
MARITAL RELATIONS
It is forbidden to have marital relations on Yom Kippur. A man may not even sleep together with his wife in one bed on Yom Kippur, neither in the day nor at night.
A man may not touch his wife at night, and the couple should separate from each other through the duration of Yom Kippur as though the wife was a niddah. If necessary they may touch in the day, but may not hug or kiss.
It is forbidden to be lightheaded with one’s wife or to look at parts of her body that are usually covered. Similarly she is forbidden to make his bed in front of him.
CHILDREN ON YOM KIPPUR
It is forbidden to allow boys or girls under the age of nine to fast, even a “fast of several hours.” Even if they want to, we don’t allow them, in order that they not endanger themselves. There are many adults who err in this and their children under the age of nine aren’t fed properly. One should scold them.
From age nine and on we educate boys and girls to fast a little, according to their strength. For example, if they’re used to eating breakfast at eight, then they should eat at nine, or at eight instead of seven. Similarly, every year we add on more hours of delay, according to the strength and health of the children.
We encourage healthy boys and girls from age eleven and up to fast the entire day, in order to educate them in mitzvot. According to the R״ma, one shouldn’t be stringent about this with a weak youth.
A youth who started fasting the whole fast and now cannot continue should seek rabbinical advice.
Girls from the age of twelve and boys from the age of thirteen are obligated by the Torah to fast. Someone born on Yom Kippur and becomes bar- or bat-mitzvah on this day is also obligated to fast.
Even though it is forbidden to feed children non-kosher food, it is permissible to feed children (kosher food) on Yom Kippur, since this is something that they may eat. To the contrary; one should feed them meat and tasty foods, since Yom Kippur is a Yom Tov (holiday).
A child who eats bread on Yom Kippur washes his hands, and recites Birkat Hamazon.
One should educate boys and girls from the age of three not to wear shoes and sandals made of leather, since this is no great affliction. If they understand this at even a younger age, then one should educate them at even a younger age.
If a child puts on leather shoes by himself, others shouldn’t comment to him. However, his father should educate him about this.
It is permissible to anoint and wash children that are extremely dirty.
It is advisable that the parents wrap up food for the children who come to the synagogue, and when the children need to eat, they shouldn’t eat in sight of everybody.
ILLNESSES, PREGNANT WOMEN, NEW MOTHERS
General: People who are dangerously sick, or people who risk becoming dangerously sick by fasting, may eat. Either they eat as usual or according to shiurim, as will be detailed. It is preferable to feed a sick person according to shiurim than to connect him to an I.V. (Intravenous) for Yom Kippur — unless he already was connected to an I.V. anyway before Yom Kippur.
A pregnant woman must fast the entire fast like everybody else. This is true of all stages of pregnancy, unless there is risk to her or the embryo.
A nursing mother must fast the entire fast like everybody else, unless this is dangerous. However, a mother who recently gave birth has special rules that will be explained later.
Danger to the baby or fetus is just the same as critical danger to any other person. This is true concerning food and desecrating Shabbat and Yom Kippur.
One may desecrate Shabbat and Yom Kippur in order to save someone in danger, whether it’s necessary for their food or for any of their other needs.
New mothers: A woman in the process of giving birth on Yom Kippur doesn’t fast, even though the child hasn’t been born yet.
A woman who gave birth on the night of the eighth of Tishrei doesn’t fast on Yom Kippur, since Yom Kippur is within three days of the birth. This is not something that needs a decision — all women who give birth as of the night of the eighth of Tishrei shouldn’t fast on Yom Kippur. She should eat according to shiurim, but if that is difficult for her then she should eat normally.
A woman who gave birth from the fourth of Tishrei until the seventh of Tishrei in the afternoon is obligated to fast. If she feels that she needs to eat and says “I need to eat,” then she should eat, even if a doctor says that she doesn’t need to eat. She should eat according to shiurim, unless she says that she’s weak and can’t eat only according to shiurim.
A woman who gave birth between the fourth of Tishrei and the seventh of Tishrei in the afternoon who is unsure as to whether she needs to eat, should eat. It is appropriate that she eat according to shiurim.
If she gave birth before the fourth of Tishrei, even if it was on the third of Tishrei in the afternoon, she’s considered just like everybody else. If she says, “I need to eat,” because of weakness or sickness, she is subject to the identical rules of other sick people.
Miscarriage: If the miscarriage took place after forty days of pregnancy, then she is subject to the rules of a mother after birth. It is customary to consider the night of her immersion as the night when the pregnancy began.
Nursing mother: If a baby refuses to nurse from anyone other than his mother, and if she would fast then he would be endangered, then she shouldn’t fast. However, she should eat only when she feels that she has no more milk, and even then she should eat according to shiurim. This also includes women who nurse children other than their own. As long as the baby refuses to nurse from anyone else, and isn’t willing to drink formula from a bottle, and she won’t have enough milk for him if she doesn’t eat, then she is obligated to eat according to shiurim, as previously stated.
Prayers on Yom Kippur
Kavvanah: “Repentance and prayer and charity avert the evil decree.” Prayer is primarily with Kavvanah (concentration on what one is saying). “The gates of tears have never been locked.” Although we are sure that Hashem will judge us favorably, we know that on this day there are those who will be judged to live and those who will be judged to the opposite, Heaven forbid. Therefore one should make an effort to concentrate on the prayers, with humility and supplication. If a person starts crying, that’s a sign that he’s being judged then.
It is good to say fewer S’lichot calmly than many hurriedly.
It is well known that the main aspect of prayer is meditation. A person should be careful not to disrupt the concentration of the congregation by bringing very young children to the synagogue. One shouldn’t speak in the synagogue, and if someone does he should be scolded as is written in the Shulchan Aruch. By speaking one disrupts one’s own prayers as well as the prayers of other worshippers on this important day.
Tears: The Holy Zohar states: The decree of punishment of anyone who sheds tears in front of the Holy One, blessed be He, is ripped up. This is what the Ari״zal used to do during prayers on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.
Women: Women are obligated to repent, request forgiveness, to confess (Viddui), and pray all of the prayers of Yom Kippur just like men. It is proper that they pray all of the prayers together with the congregation in the synagogue. A woman who is raising young children should pray at home, and it is considered as though she prayed in the synagogue.
Baruch Sheim: On the night and day of Yom Kippur we say Baruch Sheim etc. (while reading the Sh’ma) out loud. This is because it is part of the angels’ song, and on regular days we aren’t able to say it out loud because we’re not on their spiritual level. However, on Yom Kippur we act like angels in many ways, and likewise we say their song.
It is forbidden to sit in the synagogue when the Holy Ark is open with a Torah scroll in it. However, someone who is weak can be lenient about this, since the Holy Ark is considered a separate domain from the synagogue.
NIGHT OF YOM KIPPUR
It’s good to say the first four chapters of T’hillim (Psalms) after Arvit, whether Yom Kippur falls on a weekday or on Shabbat. They protect men to not have seminal emissions (Heaven forbid) on this important night.
Every man should try to learn Torah before going to sleep, in order to fall asleep while thinking about Torah. Similarly, one learns the Idra Rabba or Idra Zuta, Tractate Yoma (Mishnah or Gemara), every person according to his capabilities. We try to learn them in the synagogue, but someone who goes home should also learn them.
Some have the custom to read the entire book of T’hillim on the night of Yom Kippur, and during the day they read it all again. This is very suited for atonement and to annul all hard and harsh decrees. One should be careful to read it word by word, with the cantillations and pleasantly, and not to interrupt while reading, since one who reads it properly creates a defending angel who speaks in his favor and atones for him, and his prayer will be accepted favorably. It is better to read T’hillim than to read additional piyyutim. When one reads piyyutim, one should say those piyyutim that arouse one’s heart to love and fear of the Creator. It is better to read less, but with one’s whole heart, than much without one’s heart in it.
SHACHARIT (MORNING PRAYERS)
We don’t bless She’asa li kol tzorki since it is thanks for wearing shoes, and on Yom Kippur we don’t wear shoes. We don’t bless it after Yom Kippur at night, either. According to the Mishnah B’rurah, one does bless She’asa li kol tzorki in the morning, and according to the G”ra one should bless it at night after Yom Kippur.
The Night after Yom Kippur
HAVDALAH AFTER YOM KIPPUR
We bless Birkat Hal’vanah, and try to taste something beforehand in order to bless happily.
After Birkat Hal’vanah one should hurry to make Havdalah for one’s household in order that they’ll be able to eat. If one prays far from one’s house, the wife may make Havdalah by herself on grape juice (real juice that has the blessing of Borei p’ri hagefen). If she doesn’t have grape juice, she may make Havdalah on cola or malt and make on it the blessing Shehakol, and she says the blessing on the candle (a candle that burned during the whole Yom Kippur), and Hamavdil. She must drink at least a r’vi’it (86 grams).
We make Havdalah on a cup of wine, but don’t smell spices, even when Yom Kippur falls on Shabbat.
We bless solely on a fire that burned during the entire Yom Kippur, and at the conclusion of Yom Kippur we have pleasure from it. If one doesn’t have such a fire, then one may bless on any candle.
When Yom Kippur coincides with Shabbat both reasons to light are applicable, therefore one must bless on a candle that burned the whole Shabbat/Yom Kippur.
When one doesn’t have such a fire, and can’t find such a fire at the neighbors, then one can light a match, and light a candle from the match, and bless on the candle. The reason for this is that the halachah dictates that there’s a special importance to the blessing of the candle at the conclusion of Yom Kippur, in order to show that Yom Kippur is holier than other holidays, and therefore one should make an effort to find a fire that burned the entire Yom Kippur. According to the Holy Zohar one should always make an effort to find a fire at the conclusion of Shabbat.
EATING
At the conclusion of Yom Kippur a bat-kol (Heavenly voice) declares, “Go eat your bread happily, and drink your wine with a good heart, for Hashem has already accepted your deeds favorably.” Therefore, one should eat and drink with a happy heart, now that one’s clean of sins.