GOOD CONDUCT
Days of repentance: All of the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are designated for repentance. Every person is obligated to fully repent during these days, before the great and awesome day of Yom Kippur, about which it is written, “You will purify yourselves before Hashem.” The prophets of Israel also said, “Search for Hashem when He is to be found.” Our sages explained the words of the prophets and revealed to us that the days when Hashem is close to us, and is most willing to accept our repentance, are the ten days from Rosh Hashanah until Yom Kippur. Therefore, one must analyze one’s deeds and repent for bad deeds during these days.
Conduct and daily schedule: One should learn more Torah, do more mitzvot, give more charity, and deal less with financial matters during these days. Rabbi Moshe Kordevero, of blessed memory, wrote that these days should be like Chol Hamo’ed (the intermediate days of the holidays), meaning that one should do work that is vital only. One should especially rectify one’s interpersonal matters, because such sins cannot be atoned until he receives forgiveness from the offendee. He must return that which he stole, or give that which he withheld, and appease the offended person until he pardons the offender.
A person should be careful about his deeds, and should perform them with more taste and care during these days than he would during the rest of the year. One should also conduct oneself with better behavior and observe stringencies that one doesn’t observe during the rest of the year. We, too, request from Hashem that He act towards us better than the way we acted towards him during the rest of the year.
Learning mussar: Every person should learn more from books of mussar (self-improvement) during these days than the rest of the year. That way he will find more faults in himself that need fixing, and learn how to fix them, etc.
FASTS OF REPENTANCE
Many have the custom to fast during the ten days of repentance. We do not fast on the two days of Rosh Hashanah, Shabbat and the day before Yom Kippur. If someone who’s fasting needs to attend a s’udat mitzvah (meal honoring a mitzvah), he may eat that day and fast another day in its stead. Similarly, if he knows that he will need to attend a s’udat mitzvah, he can fast a different day in its stead. It is written in Sha’ar Hakavvanot: If a person fasts during the seven days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur and fully repents then, each one of those days atones for that day of the week of his whole life. How is this so? If the first of the seven days of repentance was a Monday and he fasted and repented that day, it atones for all of the sins that he committed on every Monday of every week of his entire life. If he fasts and repents on all of those seven days (excluding Shabbat), it will atone for all of the sins he ever committed during his whole life.
All of these fasts are not obligatory. Therefore, if these fasts would prevent one from learning Torah, it is better to learn Torah. Similarly, someone who’s weak and can’t endure these fasts shouldn’t fast, in order to be able to fast on Tzom G’dalyah and Yom Kippur.
During the ten days of repentance we do not fast “uninterruptedly.” “It is not proper to fast during the nights, as well, because during these days the main correction (of our deeds) is accomplished through eating and drinking. If we didn’t have to fast during the days in order to correct our sins, we wouldn’t fast during the days, either. Now that we do fast during the days, we rely on correction of our deeds by eating and drinking at night. Therefore it is written in the book Torah Lishmah that one should eat bread every night in order to bless Birkat Hamazon (grace after meals).”
Someone who wants to fast a private fast (such as these fasts) must accept the fast upon himself on the previous day at the end of the Amidah of Minchah (afternoon services), before the final Yihyu l’ratzon that is said before stepping backwards. If he forgot, he can still accept the fast upon himself during twilight, if he hasn’t prayed Arvit (evening services) yet. However, Tzom G’dalyah is an obligatory fast, therefore one doesn’t need to say anything in order to accept it.
TZOM G’DALYAH
Our sages declared a fast on the third of the month of Tishrei, the day when G’dalyah son of Achikam was killed. G’dalyah was the deputy of Israel after the destruction of the first Temple, and his murder destroyed the remnant of the Jews in Israel at that time. As Maimonides wrote, “the remaining embers of Israel were extinguished, and (the murder) caused their total exile.”
All are obligated to fast, except people who are ill (even if they’re not dangerously ill) and pregnant and nursing women who would experience discomfort if they fasted.
Someone who wishes to eat or drink before dawn must make a condition to that effect before he goes to sleep. According to the holy Zohar, this condition helps regarding drinking only, but doesn’t help for eating.
SHABBAT SHUVAH
The Shabbat during the ten days of repentance is called Shabbat Shuvah, since on this Shabbat we read the Haftara from Hosea 14, starting from verse 2 — Shuvah Yisrael (return O Israel). Some call this Shabbat Shabbat T’shuvah because it is the time of T’shuvah (repentance).
Kapparot
The custom is to do Kapparot with a male rooster for each male member of the family, young and old, and with a female hen for each of the females of the family. We take a hen for a woman who is pregnant, and on behalf of the fetus we take both a rooster and a hen, since we don’t know if it’s male or female.
Someone who can’t afford all of this can take just one rooster and one hen for a pregnant woman. If he can’t afford this, either, it is sufficient to take one rooster and one hen for all of the members of the household. If one doesn’t have a rooster or hen, or can’t find someone who knows how to slaughter them according to the halachah, or finds it difficult to clean the chickens and salt them according to the halachah, then one can do Kapparot with money that is the equivalent worth of the chickens. However, he shouldn’t take turtle-doves or young doves, because those are species that can be sacrificed, and it would look like one is dedicating them for a sacrifice outside the Temple. Similarly, one shouldn’t say the verses of the Kapparot over those species.
The best time to do Kapparot is very early in the morning on the day before Yom Kippur because that is a time of Heavenly mercy and goodwill. However, if there is a risk that too many people will come then and the Shochet (ritual slaughterer) won’t be able to slaughter properly (to check his knife etc.) then one should not have them slaughtered then, in order not to lose more than one gains. Instead, one should do the Kapparot and have them slaughtered on one of the other days of repentance.
We take the chicken and circle it around our head, and say what’s printed in the Machzor (holiday prayer book). If one of the members of the family isn’t present, one can circle the chicken around something that belongs to him. Similarly, one can do that if one of the children is afraid of the chickens.
Some have the custom to give the chickens of Kapparot to the poor. However, it is better to redeem them with money, and give the money to the poor.
Prayers during the Ten Days of Repentance
GENERAL PRINCIPLES
The ten days of repentance include Rosh Hashanah, which comprises the first two of them. All of the laws detailed here apply also to Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.
The “Ten days of repentance” are obviously dedicated for repentance. In these days, every person must fully repent in front of Hashem, blessed be He, before the great and awesome day of Yom Kippur, as it is written, “Purify yourselves before Hashem.” It is also written, “search for Hashem when He is found,” and our sages identified this with the ten days from Rosh Hashanah until and including Yom Kippur. A person must examine his deeds during these days and stop doing bad things. Someone who is unsure whether he sinned needs to repent even more than someone who definitely sinned, because a person regrets more the sins that he’s sure that he did than those that he’s unsure about. This is also the reason why the sacrifice for an unsure sin (Korban asham talui) is more expensive than the sacrifice for a definite sin (Korban chatat).
HAMELECH HAKADOSH
All year round we say in the Amidah Ha’e-l hakadosh (the holy God), but from the night of Rosh Hashanah until after N’ilah (the final prayer of Yom Kippur) we substitute Hamelech hakadosh (the holy King), because Hashem shows His kingship to the world during these days.
One who erred: One who erred and said Ha’e-l hakadosh, or is unsure whether he said Ha’e-l hakadosh or Hamelech hakadosh: if he remembered immediately after the end of the blessing, he should say Hamelech hakadosh and continue with the rest of the Amidah. However, if he remembered after Toch k’dei dibbur (the few seconds required to pronounce “Shalom aleichem rabbi”) or he already started the blessing of Attah chonein, he must start the Amidah over again from the beginning. Even if he is presently at the very end of the Amidah, he must start from scratch. This is because the first three blessings of the Amidah are considered a group, so by erring in the third, one loses even the first two. Some authorities say that if one remembered before saying Attah chonein then one may say on the spot Hamelech hakadosh and continue normally, even if one remembered after Toch k’dei dibbur.
A chazzan who erred: A chazzan who erred and said Ha’e-l hakadosh in the repetition of the Amidah and corrected himself Toch k’dei dibbur and said Hamelech hakadosh may resume the Amidah normally. However, if he remembered after Toch k’dei dibbur or already started Attah chonein he must start the repetition of the Amidah again from the beginning. In such a case, he and the congregation should repeat K’dushah.
A mistake on Tzom G’dalyah: If an individual or a chazzan erred and must repeat the Amidah on Tzom G’dalyah, he must mention Aneinu in his second Amidah, even if he already said it in his first Amidah.
Mistake on Shabbat: On Shabbat at Arvit (evening services) in the blessing of Magen Avot we say during these days Hamelech hakadosh she’ein kamohu. If the chazzan erred and said as usual Ha’e-l hakadosh she’ein kamohu and remembered immediately (i.e., Toch k’dei dibbur) then he says on the spot Hamelech hakadosh she’ein kamohu and continues normally. If he did not remember immediately but remembered before saying Hashem’s name in the conclusion Baruch attah… m’kadeish hashabbat, then he should go back and say Hamelech hakadosh she’ein kamohu and the ensuing. If he already said Hashem’s name (or already finished the blessing entirely), some say that he needn’t repeat the blessing, but according to the Ari״zal he must start again from the beginning, and that is the prevalent custom.
Unsure: Someone who is still praying and is unsure whether he said Hamelech hakadosh or not, we assume that he said Ha’e-l hakadosh as usual and must start over. However, if he was aware before starting the Amidah that he should say Hamelech hakadosh, and prayed the entire Amidah, and afterwards is unsure as to what he said, he doesn’t need to repeat the Amidah.
Unsure on Rosh Hashanah: Someone who is unsure on Rosh Hashanah whether he said Hamelech hakadosh, but is certain that he started L’dor vador himlichu or Uvchein yitkadash or is sure that he said Uvchein tein pachd’cha, doesn’t need to repeat the Amidah, because he most likely said Hamelech hakadosh.
Someone who forgot to say Uvchein tein pachd’cha on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur, but remembered to finish the blessing Hamelech Hakadosh, doesn’t need to go back. Even if he just said Baruch Attah and Hashem’s name, he should say Hamelech hakadosh and continue Attah b’chartanu. After Elokai n’tzor he should say what he omitted.
HAMELECH HAMISHPAT
All year round we say melech oheiv tz’dakah umishpat (king who loves charity and judgment), except during the days after Rosh Hashanah and before Yom Kippur, when we say Hamelech hamishpat (king of judgment). This is because during these days Hashem shows His reign by judging the world.
If one made a mistake and said melech oheiv tz’dakah umishpat, or one is unsure whether one said melech oheiv tz’dakah umishpat or Hamelech hamishpat, and is still within Toch k’dei dibbur of the blessing, one should say Hamelech hamishpat on the spot. If one remembered after Toch k’dei dibbur, one needn’t repeat anything, since one said melech oheiv tz’dakah umishpat.
ZOCHREINU AND OTHER ADDITIONS
In the ten days of repentance we add Zochreinu, Mi chamocha, Uchtov l’chayim, Uv’sefer, as printed in the siddurim (prayer books).
One who forgot any of these additions and remembered before saying Hashem’s name at the conclusion of the blessing, should say them on the spot. If one has already said Hashem’s name, one should continue normally and needn’t repeat anything.
Someone who forgot Zochreinu should add it when saying Shomei’a t’fillah. If he forgot it then, too, he should say it in Elokai n’tzor. On Shabbat and holidays we do not say Shomei’a t’fillah, so one adds it in Elokai n’tzor.
If one forgot to say Uchtov l’chayim tovim or Uvsefer, one should add it in Elokai n’tzor.
Mi chamocha is not a supplication, it is praise, and therefore one who forgot it cannot add it in Elokai n’tzor.
If one forgot Uchtov and hasn’t yet said Hashem’s name in the conclusion of the blessing, one should return to vihal’lu. Even though he will repeat Hashem’s name Ha’e-l y’shuateinu etc. he commits no sin, since this is not a B’rachah she’einah tz’richah (unnecessary blessing).
Someone who erred and said B’sefer chayim instead of Uchtov l’chayim must nevertheless say B’sefer chayim in the blessing of Sim shalom, since he did not say it previously as our sages formulated.
Av Harachamim: On Shabbat at Musaf and Minchah (afternoon prayers) we say Mi chamocha av harachamim instead of harachaman.
Hashem Hu Ha’elokim — Shir Hama’alot: We say Hashem Hu Ha’elokim etc. before Hashem melech etc. We also say Shir hama’alot after Yishtabach. Some Ashkenazim don’t say them.
Kaddish and Oseh Hashalom: In the conclusion of Elokai n’tzor after the Amidah we substitute Oseh hashalom instead of Oseh shalom. However, in Kaddish we say Oseh shalom as usual, except for Kaddish Titkabbal after Shacharit and Minchah in which we say Hashalom, since these Kaddishim are like a continuation of the Amidah.
In the Ashkenazic siddurim the change Oseh hashalom appears in every Kaddish, and there some siddurim in which the change doesn’t appear in any Kaddish.
Some change the wording of the Kaddish from Rosh Hashanah until Yom Kippur (inclusive), and say L’eila l’eila mikol etc. The custom of Chabad is to make that change in N’ilah on Yom Kippur only. The Sepharadim make no such change in any Kaddish.
AVINU MALKEINU
We say Avinu malkeinu every day after the Amidah at Shacharit and Minchah.
On Shabbat Shuvah we say Avinu malkeinu with the omission of five: Avinu malkeinu chatanu, m’chol, k’ra, m’chok and m’cheih. Ashkenazim do not say Avinu malkeinu at all on Shabbat.
On Rosh Hashanah we say Avinu malkeinu after the Amidah at Shacharit and Minchah. We omit only Avinu malkeinu chatanu, m’chol and m’cheih. If Rosh Hashanah falls on Shabbat we omit five: Avinu malkeinu chatanu, m’chol, m’cheih and also k’ra, m’chok. Ashkenazim do not say Avinu malkeinu at all when Rosh Hashanah falls on Shabbat.
On Yom Kippur we say Avinu malkeinu, even when it falls on Shabbat. Although a person may not pray for his personal needs on Shabbat, this is the only time we have to make our last requests. When Yom Kippur coincides with Shabbat some Ashkenazim say Avinu malkeinu at N’ilah only.
Some have the custom to open the ark when saying Avinu malkeinu. Some have the custom that the chazzan starts saying Avinu malkeinu together with the congregation, and from Avinu malkeinu hachazireinu vit’shuvah until kotveinu b’seifer s’lichah umchilah the chazzan says each phrase first and then the congregation repeats it. This is not the custom in Jerusalem.
During the ten days of repentance, if one is praying Minchah late and there’s not enough time to say everything before sunset, it is better to skip Avinu malkeinu and say Viddui and Tachanun before sunset.